During the run up to the Christmas period, I earn a few extra pennies composing witty and amusing mottos for insertion into Christmas crackers. My penmanship has found its way into no fewer than 9 of the UK’s top 250 cracker packs over the last decade and I thought it might be nice to share one or two of my favourites. Of course, these were written for deadlines back in August (the cracker manufacturing process is notoriously involved) and I am yet to discover whether they will be falling into the lap (or flying into the gravy!) of families the length and breadth of the country.
My personal favourite this year is a little gag on the subject of snowmen:
Why did the snowman wear a hat? Because he wanted to keep his ears warm.
Another joke, for which I have a soft spot is this:
How many reindeers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to smash the lightbulb with a callous hoof, one to join him in making a din until their keepers come and sweep up the broken glass and replace the bulb. So technically two, and their guardian, whomever that may be.
I hope you enjoyed my little pieces. If you are interested in writing jokes for crackers, I hope to publish a pamphlet in time for next years submissions deadlines, so do watch this space.
Yours,
Herbert Rumbelow
