Dear Harry Hill…

I email the people I love. You’ve got to have a system.

–

Dear Harry,

Or should I call you ‘Man you makes me and George laugh so’. We settle down each Saturday evening to enjoy your ‘TV Burp’ and one thing continually intrigues us: do you always wear the same pair of glasses? I think you do, as you strike me as the kind of prudent fellow who wouldn’t waste resources on multiple frames. However, George is convinced you have a different pair on every show, and sometimes change them during the adverts too. Admittedly, I do have to have some respect for his view, as he once applied to much loved weekend entertainment ‘You Bet’ claiming he could distinguish glasses frames, even very similar ones, at 100 paces. He didn’t get on, despite including a poem for Matthew Kelly in his application form.

So, what is the truth Harry? Do let us know.

Yours,
–
Herbert Rumbelow

Dear Peter Stringfellow…

Dear Peter,

I am a fan of The Kinks. Are you? If so I have a number of surplus CDs (and the odd cassette too, I know how you like the 80s) that I could lend you. Would you be interested. I am contacting a variety of entertainment professionals both upcoming and ‘with it’ as I feel this direct method should yield better results than a Sunday morning in the local car-boot sale (where, incidentally, I once picked up a whole case of Brut aftershave for only £4.25). Are you interested in the CDs? Let me know, as I have some on hold already for Cliff Thorburn.

Yours,
–
Herbert Rumbelow