Dear Katie Price nee Jordan…

Dear Katie Price nee Jordan,

I am one of a growing number of individuals who feel that too little emphasis is put on children learning debating skills at school. As a world class mother with a terrier like instinct for what is good and proper (or so says my good friend George, he has had a soft spot for you since he learned you like Horlicks) I thought you might lend your support to this cause? Imagine a future where children cannot rigorously chide each other with witty and informed banter? What kind of future would that be? The future of Zimbabwe, and we don’t want that.

If you might consider autographing a napkin or other lightweight item I will take this as a binding contract of your support. Reply with the following code (8679) so I can send on my postal address (the code is to stop Peter Andre intercepting this message – although I would appreciate his support also, we have filled the male contingent as things stand, I don’t want to cause unnecessary embarrassment.)

Yours,
–
Herbert Rumbelow