Dear ‘the cast of Hollyoaks’
I am interested in speaking with a genuine TV star and wondered if any of you would be interested. My friend George is a fan of the show and suggested I contact you as you are relatively popular but not of the standard of many proper shows and so probably still keen to add to your exposure. I haven’t actually seen your work but I understand that it largely revolves around custody battles and slappings.
My reasons for wanting to meet a genuine TV star must remain secret for now, but any members of your troupe with an interest in cookery (particularly pastry) are most welcome.
Yours,
–
Herbert Rumbelow