Dear Miss Rachel Stevens…

Dear Rachel,

You are currently committed to dancing regularly on live television, which I can only imagine if hell for your feet (toes, heel etc). I would like to offer you a pair of comfortable shoes, if I may, that I hope may offer some relief to battered hooves at the end of a long day dancing.

The shoes formerly belonged to a neighbour of mine, Mrs Edison, who no longer requires them since becoming vegan. They feature a leather upper, rubber sole and imprint of a basketball on the rear. If you would like them do let me know, or I’ll offer them to Andrew Castle.

Yours,
–
Herbert Rumbelow