Dear Dr Brian Cox…

Dear Doctor Brian,

The cougar or the ocelot?

Yours
—
H. Rumbelow 

Dear Nico Rosberg…

Dear Nico,

To what extent do you consider yourself a ‘kidder’? I would like to send you a joke (it’s about Kumquats) but my friend George says you should never kid a kidder. So I thought it prudent to double check. 

Yours,
—
H. Rumbelow 

Dear Steve Buscemi…

Dear Steve,

I have long collected receipts from all manner of commercial transactions (both my own and other people’s) – I keep them in a series of floral photo albums on the bottom shelf of the bookcase in my dining room. Recently however I have begun to wonder whether more could not be done with these pieces of collateral to make them more appealing. I am, as I’m sure you can guess, thinking of the addition of quotes to the bottom of each receipt, possibly relevant to the purchase, posibly relevant to the date of purchase. For example, if I were to buy a bag of carrots on the 14th March, the quote might read “You’ll sure be able to see the daffodil’s clearly when they bloom!”. That sort of thing. 

I was wondering if you might like to provide me with a list of quotes from your good self, your celebrity friends or your yoga class mates (do you do yoga?) to use as the base of a database that might be drawn upon by the world’s top producers of receipts? 

Thoughts?

Yours,
—
H. Rumbelow