Dear Andrew,
Would you be interested in living in a house carved entirely from wood? The bath would be wood, the pantry would be wood, the garden tap and the attached hose would be wood; in short everything would be carved from wood.
If you are interested, I will set about carving a suitable domicile from a rather large selection of logs that recently came into my possession. You will be first to try wood-style living! Of course, this will be free to you, all I require is that you pose for various wood-related publicity shots, and maybe attend the Ideal Home Show with me.
Yours,
—
Herbert Rumbelow
Herbert Rumbelow's Weblog 