She’s so lovely, she’s so lovely, she’s so lovely, she’s so luv-a-ly…
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Dear Amanda,
As the most beautiful woman on television (my friend George and I conducted a poll amongst close friends, and you beat your nearest rival, ex-Gladiator Diane Youdale, by yards) I would like to ask your advice. I wish to woo a young lady who shops at my local supermarket (a Tesco Metro, if this is important) and wonder which area of the floor would be best to approach her?
I fear the vegetable aisle may be too suggestive, while the breakfast cereal aisle just seems presumptuous. Obviously I would like to avoid toiletries and organic foods, and I don’t think the patisserie area would be suitable as she is carrying a few (dozen) extra pounds, and I don’t want to look like I’m taking the piss. So, I have surmised that my best options might be the frozen food section, which would be practical due to my flushes, or the door, which does offer something of a bottle-neck.
I look forward to your response. If I could engage this fine lady, then it really would be a super market! (Should I steer clear of jokes?)
Yours,
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Herbert Rumbelow
Herbert Rumbelow's Weblog 